The Last Moments Of Howard Stark
by cookies. x3
Summary: OR The End Of The Road. Basically a try to give Howard some more depth. One Shot (for now). Spoilers for CA:CW!


Name: The Last Moments Of Howard Stark OR The End Of The Road

Theme: Drama/Tragedy/Angst-y

Well, well. What to say about this? I am currently working on a slightly bigger project (in my head at least) and this is just a little teaser to see how people react to this. I know that Howard Stark is usually portrait as the bad guy of the story. But I kinda cared for his background a little more, to see what made him become the man Tony 'hates'.

But feel free to tell me if I am wasting my time and no one else cares and you're just like 'Damn him, he is a bastard and that's it'.

Thank you for reading though :)

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own any characters, not even the conversations or the plot for that matter. They are taken from 2 scenes of CA:CW. So there might be a small spoiler if you haven't seen the movie yet. The insight and actual hints to the story are mine though. ^^

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The Last Moments Of Howard Stark

1991, December 16th

The fine tones of the piano standing in the living room sound through the penthouse. Howard is just packing the last few clothing items into his suitcase before asking Jarvis to carry Maria's and his luggage down to the car.

The song his wife plays saddens him like each time he hears it. Maria had often sung that to Anthony just like she is doing now. 'Try to remember' had burned into his brain since the first time he had heard it. The sweet melancholy of the song caught him from the beginning, something he comprehends. There was a time when Maria would play that tune every night just for her husband. But that is long gone. He enters the living room. Maria is already wearing her white traveling lady's suit and his son is asleep on the sofa covered by a red blanket. A sigh almost escapes his lips, a comfort he does only allow himself when he is alone in his workshop. Howard rises the blanket from his son's head a little annoyed he sleeps in so long. Knowing it is not fair to expect everyone to be in a bad mood just because he is, doesn't make it easier to deal with his careless, free son.

Maria ceases her singing but not her playing. 'Wake up, dear. Say goodbye to your father.', she says to Anthony who stirs slightly, apparently still a little intoxicated by last night.

'Who is the homeless person on the couch?', he asks disapproving. His son had never cared about the family business and always tries to defy him. If he wouldn't know better he'd say Anthony does everything just to annoy his father. Sometimes he simply has no patience with the boy. He takes a deep breath. It is not Tony's fault, Howard reminds himself yet again. It is his fault alone. His fault he feels guilty and alone every time he looks upon Anthony. The song starts to get to him.

Anthony stands up, looking just like Howard had in his youth. 'This is why I love coming home for Christmas. Right before you leave town.' Howard ignores the sarcasm tainting his voice. Maybe they are too much like each other.

Maria intervenes, expecting Howard to speak his mind as usual. 'Be nice, dear. He's been studying abroad.' She had always a soft spot for their son, protecting him from Howard's rough side every now and then and she at least pretends to still care about Howard in front of him for Anthony's sake. As if the boy wouldn't be intelligent enough to realize what farce they play.

'Really? Which broad? What's her name?', Howard asks wearily. His substitution-behavior with the women is even worse than he had been in his youth. Can't he be a little more discreet about his excesses? Doesn't his son realize what light this sheds on his company if he can't even control his own son's escapades? He frowns slightly and tugs the red hat from Anthony's head. He had always found everything rather funny, it is irritating and Howard envies him for this above all.

'Candice.' Tony needs to think about it for a split-second. He is losing track of the women he's seeing as well. How long that time is gone for his father.

'Do me a favor. Try not to burn the house down before Monday.' He straightens his suit.

Anthony walks behind his mother. 'Okay, so it's Monday. That is good to know. I will plan my toker party accordingly.' Howard doesn't know if he is joking but doubts he is. 'Where're you going?' Anthony decides to skip the conversation with his father.

'Your father is flying us to the Bahamas for a little get away.', Maria says evenly, never stopping to play the tune. She's been insisting on a small break from business and Howard had agreed with the additional condition that he would personally fly them, telling her it would be for his relaxation. She saw right through him, he just wants an excuse to be able to return earlier, but had kept quiet.

'We might have to make a quick stop.'

'At the Pentagon. Right?', Anthony interrupts him. Howard nods reluctantly. His son turns back to Maria. 'Don't worry. You're gong to love the holiday menu at the commissure.' Maria chooses to not reply, knowing he is right.

'You know, they say sarcasm is a metric for potential. If that's true, you'll be a great man some day.' He certainly hopes so for his sake. He still has hope to leave his company to his son before he retires. 'I'll get the bags.', he says though he already told Jarvis to take care of that. He needs to get away from the music, his heart aches too much for him to keep a straight face any longer. It is strange, how some tones can set his teeth right on edge. It wouldn't do to make way to his frustration and start yelling at his family in the end.

Howard takes a few deep breaths before grabbing Maria's handbag from the bed. He needs to get a grip on his emotions again. In the last few months it had gotten worse again, he doesn't know if Maria noticed. If yes, she lets him deal with it on his own. She had tried to help him long enough, he thought she might be the solution. Then he hoped Anthony would be the solution. They hadn't helped but made everything worse.

When he returns, Maria kisses Anthony good bye. Howard waits in the background until Maria turns to leave for the door. Casting one last glance at his frustrating son he follows his wife to the car. Fortunately their butler had already taken care of their bags when Howard hands her her bag, then gets into the car. It will be a long drive to Washington and he prefers to take the lonelier streets. They remind him of simpler times. That is also the reason why he still prefers to fly alone.

Silence had settled long ago between him and Maria. At first in their relationship Howard had occasionally tried to be attentive and at least pretend there's still be a normal relationship, but as the years passed by he gave up his futile efforts like she had ceased hers. After the birth of Anthony all duties had been fulfilled, an heir had been procured and there had never again been further need to pretend once they are alone. Maria had been a logical choice to marry, daughter of a business mogul, high up in the social ranks, all in all an acceptable wife. It was the right choice to marry her. Even if just right to be logic. Even after everything that had happened he can't regret to have agreed to her. Nonetheless he would have declined if it wouldn't have been for her eyes. Though they lack the warmth and merriment he longs for, he remembers seeing in them, they are still enough to leave him stunned sometimes. The warm light brown framed by a darker circle, the twinkle of joy whenever she lays eyes on their son, the coldness that settles there every time she looks at Howard nearly suffocates him. He thought it would be enough to let him forget about the past.

He sighs internally. Maybe he shouldn't have worked so hard and tried to be with the family he got a little more and thought less about the past still haunting him.

The roads are framed by pines when the darkness settles slowly. Maria loves the nature as well, that is why they had chosen the Bahamas as a holiday destination. There they would have a little more daylight as well instead of this depressing mid-winter gloom. It'd still be a few hours till they reach their flat in the capital he had bought years ago. Some part of him hopes the business will keep them in the States so he won't have to spend that much time alone with his thoughts.

He hadn't told Maria what business draws him to Washington. The replication of the super soldier serum had taken him years and ever since his rather big breakthrough a few months ago, the Pentagon had been in frequent contact with him to support his studies. Finally he believes to have recreated Erskine's serum, or at least be close enough and wants to discuss the matter with the other leading scientists. In a small suitcase in the back lies his whole supply. Five bags of that blue liquid he hopes will be able to recreate a Captain America, are all he was able to create.

The silence of the night is only broken by their car engine until suddenly a motorcycle is behind them on the street. Howard eyes it distrusting through the rear mirror. Suddenly it quickly gets ready to pass them. There is a loud bang and the car swerves to the right. Howard hits his head hard on the steering wheel.

Opening his eyes is painful. The car is smoldering, They must have hit the tree with full force. Maybe a tire burst while driving. Howard forces air into his lungs, his legs shake hard. He looks over to Maria. Blood trickles from her brow and she seems dizzy and disorientated. Howard hears the trunk lid opening and forces coughing his way out of the car, leaving the Maria he got behind. If this is what he suspects, her death would also be on his hands. But maybe they would leave her alone and content themselves with his life.

Someone must have heard of his little project, someone who shouldn't have. A long list of possible suspects appears on his mind. Everyone could profit from this if it truly works. The world will be in mortal peril, like it is by all his creations.

'Help my wife. Please.', he mutters through the blood pooling in his mouth. She has got nothing to do with this, maybe they will spare her. They don't want him alive, no one should ever get the formula and he is the only one knowing what is in those plastic bags. They must know she knows nothing and could never be a threat. As a security measure he wrote nothing of it down and they know he wouldn't talk free willingly. 'Help her.', is all he can force out. That much he owes his family. He wants to plead for her life but the words simply refuse to be formed.

His head is yanked back by his hair painfully, and he is forced to look at their attacker. Howard can't believe his eyes and thinks he is imagining this vengeful figure of the past but the pain in his legs and head is all too real, keeping him grounded to the here and now. 'Sergeant Barnes.' The dark haired man looks just the way Howard remembers him and despite all the years there is no mistaking him. Steven's best friend who had died in the snowy mountains of Europe is standing now in front of him, alive and sound. He sees the dead look in the man's eyes, knows he can't hear him, doesn't recognize him. Steve had told him how he had found his friend in the Hydra facility when Barnes had been captured. By that time Howard could only guess what they had injected him, but now, looking up at him, he gets a pretty good idea. They turned him into their own weapon, their answer to Rogers. Barnes just knows his mission, no friend or foe, nothing would allure him from completing it. And his death is top on the list. Barnes wouldn't leave Maria alone, witnesses are never acceptable, sympathy or mercy Howard can't expect from the dummy in front of him.

Maria hasn't yet realized in what situation they are. He hears her say his name as the fist connects for the first time. She pleads for him to answer. He let her down, like his son. 'I love you' drifts through his mind. The words he never got to say to Anthony and never in earnest to Maria. He would have liked her to get to know a better man, to have a better husband who'd be home every evening by five, who'd share his feelings with her, who'd appreciate and love her the way she deserves. For her to live a long and happy life and not die next to him on a deserted road for the sake of his past deeds. For Tony to have a better father, someone to look up to and not just someone to push him, someone to support him when needed. Anthony will be better off without him though the death of his mother will be hard on him. He knew it is a mistake to bring her with him, just another to add to his already too long list.

Maybe he should have explained everything to Tony, make him understand his drawing back from his family, his fixation on his company and projects, clarify the reasons for his reservation, why he was still looking for the Captain lost in the ice, why he fears to love, why he denies himelf the happiness and carelessness of old, why he sometimes had made his son believe to be a disappointment in him when he is the greatest thing that has happened to him. Why this is his, Howard's, fault and not Tony's. And how sorry he is.

Why had he been so fixated on recreating the formula? It won't bring his old life back. Like searching for Steven it was a mere distraction, to have something to do and not think about everything going awry.A try to redeem himself, to undo his mistakes, to give their deaths a meaning which isn't there. He should have died back then in World War Two, not all those good people who did. And now his work would be stolen by people who will use it to create more like the empty shell standing in front of him, who will drag his life's work through the mire. Again he can't stop the others, is too weak to do anything but watch and bleed.

He looks up again at Barnes, an angel from the past demanding its tribut. He has detroyed too much in his life, this is just the fitting end.

The fist connects a second time and the pain slowly ebbs away alongside reality. Howard pictures her face in front of him the way he used to know it. As clear as ever when he closes his eyes, her warm brown eyes twinkle with joy, a faint blush would creep across her cheeks when she notices him staring, that small smile that always seemed to be reserved especially for him, the smile he had missed his whole life. They had been so young. When just had that all changed? How different their lives could have been had he just not missed that one moment.

His last thoughts are reserved for her, just like they always would be. As they are supposed to be. If he would have been faster, how growing old would have been. If she also would have lost her laugh. If she would have held Tony with the same tenderness and love. His last thoughts are a prayer to someone who hadn't listened for a long time. Why would she? He doesn't deserve her forgiveness.

I am sorry for not being a better man, for letting everyone down. For not protecting you.

I am sorry, Maria. I love you.

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 **Please leave a review? Do you want more, then please tell me because otherwise the idea will probably just stay in my head. It would be something like the lovestory of Howard and Maria, maybe leading up to Tony and I would tell you what I think changed and well :) I am excited and would actually really love to write it.  
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 **And if you didn't like, feel free to tell me either :D**


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